How to make friends at university: how to meet people at uni and find where you fit in

For most people, starting university means there’s a lot of change to get used to. You might have questions and worries as you start your first term – especially about how to make friends at university. The good news is that most other students are in the same situation.

As you think about meeting people at university, you might find it helpful to remember that it doesn’t have to mean replacing your existing friendships. There are lots of ways to keep in touch – but it’s also helpful to have friends to navigate university life with, especially if you’re studying in a new city or living away from home.

If you’re stressing about how you’ll ‘find your people’ at uni, don’t panic. We’ve got 5 top tips – and answers to common questions about making friends at university.

Before freshers’ week (or welcome week) even begins, you might find online chats popping up on various platforms. How you engage with them is up to you.

Some people find chats helpful because they mean they can talk to people on their course or in their accommodation – or because they can ask specific questions about their uni’s accommodation rules or how different modules work.

Online chats can be overwhelming – especially if there are hundreds of messages a day or if you feel like you’re behind because you’ve joined late. When you arrive at university, there will be plenty of potential friends who aren’t active in these chats (or who haven’t joined them at all) – and you might get on with people differently in real life too.

When university starts, chats can be a helpful way to check things (like whether you need to read anything before your first seminar) and arrange to meet up before or after lectures. But they do not determine whether you make friends at uni – and they don’t replace socialising in real life either.

It’s understandable to want to make friends quickly – the process of making friends can feel awkward, and it’s nice to feel that other people like you and want to spend time with you.

But unfortunately that means that new students often put a lot of pressure on themselves to make friends within a week or two. Really, it’s normal not to find close friends during freshers’ week – or even in the first few terms.

There are opportunities to make friends throughout the academic year, too. You might meet new people through societies, modules, or part-time jobs later into your first year, and lots of people make new friends in their second and third years too.

As you start university, try to resist the temptation to compare yourself and your friendships. You can’t tell how close people’s new friendships are by looking at them (or the stuff they’re posting online) – and you definitely can’t tell how they’re feeling about it all.

‘Join a society’ is common advice for new students trying to make friends. It can feel annoying when it makes finding friends at university sound simple – but the point is that friendships start by meeting people.

Societies are a great way to do this, because you’re meeting people with at least one thing in common with you.  

You might be able to find a list of societies at your university online, and the freshers’ fair is a good chance to see what’s available (and collect some freebies too).

At the same time, you can meet people by chatting to people in your accommodation, even if you seem quite different.

And finally, go to your welcome lectures and contact hours. They’re opportunities to meet course mates who might become friends (as well as being important for getting used to the academic side of university).

When you meet someone new at university, the next step to becoming friends is to start a conversation.

Not every conversation will lead to a close friendship – and that’s OK. But most friendships start with a conversation, so it’s helpful to be bold and take the first step.

Small talk can feel awkward – but especially when you’re new students, other people are usually glad that someone else is breaking the ice.

It’s also helpful to invite people along to do stuff with you. You could ask a course mate if they want to travel back to your accommodation, study in the library, or go for a coffee. Or you could ask someone in your flat if they want to figure out how the laundry room works, find the local supermarket, or go to a welcome event.

If someone asks you if you want to spend time together, try to say yes when you can. Of course, there might be times when you’ve already got plans or you know you definitely don’t want to join them (for example, if they’re going clubbing and you know you hate clubs). But trying things that are a bit outside of your comfort zone (or spending more time with someone you’ve just met) can be the start of a new friendship.

Once you’ve had a few conversations with people, making friends means continuing to show up.

Sometimes this can be the hardest step. It can be hard to be patient when you want to make friends and feel settled – but friendships are usually a gradual thing. It’s normal to know people for a while before you start feeling close to them – acquaintances become friends over time as you spend time together and share experiences.

If you’re missing your friends at home, try to avoid comparing these established friendships to your new friendships at university. It’s understandable that you feel less close with people you’ve only just met – because friendships take time to build.

If you’re struggling to make friends, you’re not alone. The internet is full of people in the UK asking how to meet people at university and asking for advice on what to do because they feel lonely or excluded.

Friendships often involve an element of chance – being in the right place at the right time – so it might just be that you haven’t found your people yet. It might also be that your newer friendships haven’t had time to grow.

It is never too late to make friends – and there are plenty of other students like you who want to build new friendships throughout their time at university.

It can be difficult to keep putting yourself out there if you don’t feel like it’s working – but try to continue to turn up to societies and lectures and start conversations.

You might also find it helpful to think about what friendship means to you.

If you can figure out what you’re looking for, you can think about how you can find the friendships you feel like you’re missing.

Finally, remember that students can get support if they’re struggling. You don’t have to manage on your own.

Starting university is a big change, and it’s OK if you need some support to manage and talk through your experiences of making friends.

Universities have their own support services. Exactly what’s available depends on your university, but you might be able to get support from:

Of course, university students can also get mental health support from the NHS and anonymously through services like NATTER.

Some people might have specific worries about making friends at university.