Jump to content on:
This page is about feeling sad or low, which is different to the mental health condition depression.
What is sadness?
Most people feel sad or low sometimes – sadness is a normal, healthy emotion.
There are lots of words you can use to describe feeling sad. You might hear people talking about feeling unhappy, down, miserable, upset, low or depressed.
When someone says they feel depressed, they don’t always mean that they’re experiencing the mental health condition depression. The words overlap in the English language, so a word people use to describe a feeling (depressed) can also be used to describe a mental health condition (depression).
Sadness is a natural response to life – it isn’t something we can control. It can be an important emotion – for example, when it encourages us to think about our lives and what matters to us or when it helps us understand that a situation isn’t healthy or good for us.
But feeling sad can be distressing and unpleasant. And if we don’t know how to manage feelings of sadness, they can feel overwhelming or like things will feel better.
What does sadness feel like?
People experience sadness differently, so it can be helpful to try to figure out what sadness feels like for you.
Some people find sadness uncomfortable – but there is nothing wrong with being sad.
How can sadness show up in your thoughts and feelings?
You might find that you:
- feel empty
- are tired
- feel hopeless
- are easily irritated or annoyed
- want to be on your own
- feel lonely, even when you’re around other people
- can’t think clearly
- feel unmotivated
How can sadness feel in your body?
You might find that:
- you cry
- you feel like you might cry, for example, your eyes might sting
- it feels like you have a lump in your throat
- your appetite changes – you feel more or less hungry
- you have aches and pains
- you feel tight or tense
- you sleep more or less than is usual for you
What sorts of things might you do if you’re sad?
Some people express their sadness outwardly in ways that are easy to notice, and some people turn it inwards, which can be harder to spot.
You might:
- cry
- be quiet because you don’t know what to say or feel unable to speak
- spend more time alone
- find it harder to stay in touch with people (for example, not replying to messages)
- not enjoy doing things you usually like, or feel like you can’t be bothered to do them
Why do people feel sad?
People can feel sad for all sorts of reasons. Sometimes people don’t know why they feel sad, and that’s OK. If you don’t know why you feel sad, you can still use healthy ways to cope with the feeling.
Things that happen
Sometimes we feel sad about things happening in our lives. These can range from everyday disappointments and setbacks (like the weather ruining your plans) to problems like grief, arguing with people who are important to you, or a big life change like moving house.
We might also feel sad about wider issues in the world, including injustices such as discrimination and war.
Hormones and feeling sad
Sometimes people dismiss young people’s thoughts and feelings because they say they’re ‘hormonal’, and that is not right. If your feelings are affected by your hormones, your feelings are still real and valid, and you still deserve understanding and support.
Everyone has hormones – they’re chemicals that carry messages around your body. Changes in these hormones can affect our mood and our feelings, and this can impact how we respond to things that happen in our lives.
Our hormones change during puberty (the time where a child’s body changes and grows into an adult body). Some people find that this means they feel sad more often or more intensely.
Some people who have periods can notice their hormones affecting their mood throughout their menstrual cycle (the process their body goes through between periods). If they use contraception that contains hormones (like the pill or the implant), this might affect their mood and emotions too. Some people find they’re more likely to feel sad (or feel sadness more intensely) during certain times of their menstrual cycle.
When is sadness a problem – and when does it become depression?
Most people feel sad sometimes. We all have times where we feel low or unmotivated, especially if we’re going through something difficult.
There are a few signs that suggest that low mood might be becoming a problem:
- If you’re feeling low all the time and the difficult days outnumber the OK days.
- If you’re struggling to do things you want to do or used to enjoy, like spending time with friends.
- If you’re struggling to do the things you need to, like basic self-care or going to school, university, or work.
- If these feelings have lasted for several weeks and things aren’t getting better.
Healthy ways to respond to sadness or low mood
Different people find different ways of coping with sadness helpful, and what you find helpful might change depending on the situation too. You might approach feeling a bit low after a tricky day differently to feeling sad because of big change in your life, for example.
What’s important is that you know that there are ways that you can express and cope with your feelings of sadness, rather than trying to ignore them or being entirely overwhelmed.
Don’t try to ignore your feelings
There can be lots of reasons for people trying to avoid their sadness, including because they’re afraid of their feelings or because they don’t have a safe space to express them. But if you often push down or try to ignore feelings of sadness, you might find that they come back more strongly in the future. They might come back next time a situation makes you feel sad, or they might appear at a time that feels random.
Sadness will pass
When you’re feeling sad, it can feel like the feeling will last forever. You might find it hard to imagine things getting better, but it’s important to remember that sadness (like all feelings) does pass.
Some people find it helpful to imagine their emotions being like a wave. They can feel huge and overwhelming, but just like a wave, they reach a peak and then begin to reduce again.
Healthy ways to cope when you feel sad
If you’re feeling sad or low, there are things you can try to help.
Allow yourself to feel sad
Sometimes we feel pressure to look or act OK when we’re not. But it’s OK to feel sad, including when something you’re upset about feels small. If it matters to you, that’s what counts.
Let someone know what’s going on
Some people find that they want to isolate themselves when they’re feeling sad, but it’s rarely helpful. If you tell someone you’re low, they can support you to cope in the moment, as well as offering practical help.
Try a mood diary
Keeping a diary on paper or through an app might help you understand a bit more about your feelings of sadness. You might be able to figure out if they’re linked to anything happening, or explore which ways of coping work best for you.
Spend time with others
When we feel sad, we often withdraw and spend time alone – but this can make things more difficult. Spending time with the people you care about is often helpful, even just for a little while.
Prioritise basic self-care
When you’re stressed, it can be difficult to make time for things like sleep and eating well – but even small actions of self-care like making yourself one tasty meal can make a big difference.
We asked young people for their tips for managing when they’re sad or low:
When you’re stressed, taking care of yourself can feel like an impossible task.
We’ve got tips to help you manage, including how to break things down into smaller steps and ask for help.
Getting more help for sadness or low mood
Emergency?
If anyone is in immediate danger, call 999 now.
If you need urgent help for mental or physical health, call NHS 111 or get help from NHS 111 online.
Sadness is not always a problem. It’s natural to feel sad sometimes, especially when difficult or upsetting things happen.
But sadness can become a problem if it becomes bigger than you’re able to cope with or if it doesn’t go away.
It’s important that you ask for help if you’re feeling low all or most the time, or if your feelings of sadness are stopping you from doing things you want or need to do.
A good place to start is to speak to a parent or carer, teacher (if you’re at school), or GP. They can suggest ways of coping, as well as telling you about options like social prescribing, counselling, mentoring, and talking therapy.
How to help someone who’s feeling sad or low
It can be difficult to know how to respond when someone you care about is sad. Here are some things to consider if you’re helping someone who’s low.
Know when to tell an adult
If you’re worried about someone’s wellbeing, it is always OK to tell a trusted adult like a parent or carer, teacher, or youth worker.
Remember it’s OK to be sad
It’s natural to want to cheer your friends and family up – but it’s also important to let them know that feeling sad is OK, and that they don’t have to hide it from you.
Avoid being too positive
It’s not helpful to tell people to ‘think positively’ or ‘look on the bright side’. You don’t have to pretend that everything’s OK when it’s not – you can acknowledge difficult feelings, even when you don’t have all the answers.
Do normal ‘friend stuff'
Spending time together talking about shared interests (or doing a hobby you both enjoy) can help them feel more like themselves again. This might mean continuing to invite someone to do stuff, even if they’re not always able to say yes.
Help them be kind to themselves
Try to show them that you understand it’s hard, while encouraging them to use any strategies they have to take care of themselves. Celebrating their ‘little wins’ is also a great way to show support.
Share helpful tips from trusted sources
If they’re struggling to cope with low mood, you could share this page or read it together. You could even try some of the suggestions with them.
Take care of yourself
Remember that it is not your responsibility to try to sort out anyone else’s sadness – you need time to look after yourself too. If you’re worried about someone else, speak to a trusted adult.
Text NATTER for help
Anyone can text ‘NATTER’ to 85258 to seek
help, wherever they are in the UK. It’s a free, anonymous service and available 24/7.
More about NATTER
