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What does being LGBTQ+ mean?
Being LGBTQ+ is about your sexuality and gender identity.
Sexuality is about who you’re romantically and/or sexually attracted to – things like who you fancy, who you want to date, and who you want to be sexually intimate with.
Gender identity is about how you feel about your gender and how you identify (for example, as a boy, girl, man, woman, non-binary person, or another term). Some people’s gender identity does not match the gender label they were given when they were born.
LGBTQ+ is an abbreviation that stands for lesbian, gay, bi, trans, and queer (or sometimes questioning) – the plus represents all of the other identities that aren’t included within these letters. Sometimes, you might see the letters I (intersex) and A (asexual) included too.
Childline – LGBTQ+ terms
Everyone has a sexuality, and everyone has a gender identity. They are not the same thing, but they’re often grouped together because people with diverse gender identities and sexualities have often faced similar and linked discrimination and stigma.
As a result of this, they have come together as one community to fight for their rights and the freedom to be who they are.
Is being LGBTQ+ a mental health condition?
No, being LGBTQ+ is not a mental health condition.
Being LGBTQ+ has been wrongly considered a mental health problem in the past. As a result, some organisations and people that claimed to help LGBTQ+ people treated them badly and caused them harm.
Being LGBTQ+ does not mean there is something ‘wrong’ with someone and being LGBTQ+ does not need to be (and cannot be) ‘treated’ or changed.
What is gender incongruence?
Incongruence means when things are inconsistent, or when they don’t match up.
Gender incongruence is a way of describing the fact that the sex someone was assigned at birth does not align with their gender identity. It’s a neutral term to describe the mismatch that people experience, rather than describing how they feel about it. Trans and non-binary people experience gender incongruence.
Gender incongruence and gender dysphoria are not mental health problems. However, gender dysphoria can contribute to people developing mental health problems like depression and anxiety.
What is gender dysphoria?
Some trans and non-binary people also experience gender dysphoria, which is a name for the discomfort or distress they feel because their gender identity does not match the label they were given when they were born or the way their body looks and feels. Not everyone who experiences gender incongruence experiences gender dysphoria.
Gender incongruence and gender dysphoria are not mental health problems. However, gender dysphoria can contribute to people developing mental health problems like depression and anxiety.
What is gender euphoria?
Some people use the term gender euphoria to describe the joy, excitement, and happiness they feel when they’re able to live in a way that matches up with their gender identity, and when their gender identity is recognised by others.
Why are LGBTQ+ people more likely to struggle with their mental health?
A lot of the time, LGBTQ+ young people are stressed about the same things as everyone else – things like exams, friendships, and making decisions about the next steps of their lives. And being LGBTQ+ can bring a lot of positive experiences, like community, freedom, and self-expression.
But unfortunately, there are additional problems in the world that can have a huge impact on LGBTQ+ people’s wellbeing. As a result of these problems and challenges, LGBTQ+ people are more likely to experience mental health conditions like depression and anxiety.
It’s everyone’s responsibility to tackle issues like discrimination and misinformation to make sure LGBTQ+ people have equal rights and freedoms. The extra challenges that LGBTQ+ people can face include:
Figuring out who you are
Some LGBTQ+ people struggle as they take the time to figure out their sexuality or gender identity. It can feel confusing or overwhelming, especially if you don’t know many other LGBTQ+ people or don’t feel like you have anyone to talk to about it.
Sometimes, people feel under pressure to label themselves and stick with that label forever. This pressure can come from within the LGBTQ+ community, as well as from outside it. It can make it difficult to talk about your experiences if you’re worried that doing so means you can never change the way you describe yourself.
In reality, gender identity and sexuality are often fluid – someone might use different labels to talk about their sexuality or gender identity at different points in their lives, and this is normal. Using a label to describe your gender identity or sexuality does not mean that you have to continue to use this label forever; no one should try to make you feel as though you have to stop exploring your identity and learning more about yourself.
Coming out
‘Coming out’ and telling people that you’re LGBTQ+ can be challenging for lots of different reasons. It’s common to be worried about how other people will react. It can also be exhausting to have to ‘come out’ over and over again when you meet new people and make new friends.
Being safe at home
Some young people have good homes with supportive adults, but others are worried about whether they’ll be safe if people at home know they’re LGBTQ+. Some young people end up homeless if things at home are unsafe, or if they’re no longer welcome because they’re LGBTQ+.
Homophobia and transphobia
Some people have negative opinions about and attitudes towards LGBTQ+ people, or are misinformed. This can result in things like bullying, as well as having to hear people say hurtful things around you (including if they say things when they don’t know that you’re LGBTQ+).
Hate crime
LGBTQ+ people are at higher risk of experiencing hate crimes compared to straight, cisgender people. You might find that hate crime affects you even if you haven’t been a victim – for example, if you worry about it a lot or have to change how you live your life to feel safer.
Internalised homophobia and transphobia
This is when you feel bad about yourself or who you are because you’ve spent so much time surrounded by people with negative attitudes or beliefs about LGBTQ+ people. You might feel like there’s something wrong with you, or that you wish you could be different.
Accessing healthcare
Lots of LGBTQ+ people report that they’ve found it difficult to access healthcare because of who they are. This includes things like gender services, as well as other physical and mental healthcare.
Conversion ‘therapy’
Sometimes, people try to do things to change people’s sexuality or gender identity. There is nothing wrong with being LGBTQ+, and LGBTQ+ people do not need to be ‘treated’ or ‘cured’. Conversion ‘therapy’ is not therapy and it is always harmful.
Negative media portrayals
Sometimes fictional stories support misconceptions about LGBTQ+ people, but the news can also spread stereotypes or report in a biased way, without giving LGBTQ+ people the chance to share their perspective.
Feeling lonely
Some LGBTQ+ people feel really isolated because of who they are, for example, if they don’t know any other LGBTQ+ people, or don’t have access to LGBTQ+ role models. It can be really difficult if you feel unable to live in a way that feels true to yourself or tell others about an important part of your identity.
Conflict within the LGBTQ+ community
The LGBTQ+ community can be a brilliant source of support and joy, but like all communities, it is not perfect and there can be conflict.
People can experience discrimination such as racism or sexism within the LGBTQ+ community, for example. People can also be affected by biphobia (for example, if lesbian or gay people suggest their experiences are less valid because they are bisexual) or transphobia (for example, if lesbian, bi, or gay people try to exclude trans people or discriminate against them).
Coping with the world when you’re LGBTQ+
If you’re LGBTQ+, you may find these things helpful when it comes to wellbeing:
Make time for self-care
The self-care information on the Best For You website is there to help all young people. If you’re facing extra stress or finding things difficult because you’re LGBTQ+, try to make sure you have time for the things that make you feel calmer and more grounded.
Speak to a trusted adult
No young person should have to struggle on their own. If you can, it’s always best to speak to a trusted adult. Sadly, not every LGBTQ+ person is able to speak to an adult in their lives. If you need to chat, you can use a helpline, online chat, or text service that’s listed on the Best For You website.
Limit your time on social media
Especially when there are lots of changes to policies and laws, it can be tempting to spend a lot of time checking the news and social media – but try to be aware of how it makes you feel and recognise when you need to take a break. Find out more about setting limits on social media.
Connect with the LGBTQ+ community
The LGBTQ+ community can bring acceptance, belonging, and joy – as well as peer support and a sense of solidarity. It can make a big difference to know you’re not alone! Lots of organisations run groups for LGBTQ+ young people to get to know each other safely.
Find out about other people’s experiences
It can feel isolating if you don’t know many other LGBTQ+ people, or other LGBTQ+ people who have had similar experiences to you. Some people find it helpful to hear other people’s stories through books or podcasts to inspire them and give them hope.
Know where to find specialist support
All of the support listed on the Best For You website welcomes and respects LGBTQ+ people, but if you want to talk about something linked to being LGBTQ+, you might find it helpful to talk to a specialist organisation to get expert support.
Find support
Find trusted services that can support you when things feel overwhelming.
Coping with gender dysphoria
People have different experiences of gender dysphoria. Your experience of gender dysphoria can be influenced by a lot of different things, like other aspects of your identity, how your body changes as you get older, your living situation, the support you have around you, and any barriers you face to accessing gender-affirming care.
If you experience gender dysphoria, you may find it helpful to:
Speak to an adult you trust
Gender dysphoria can be overwhelming, and it isn’t fair for young people to have to cope with it on their own. Every young person deserves to be heard, respected, and supported to cope with the things that are going on in their lives.
Sadly, not every person experiencing gender dysphoria is able to speak to an adult in their lives. If you need to chat, you can always use a helpline, online chat, or text service that’s listed on the Best For You website.
Know where to find specialist support
There are services that exist to make sure young people have safe spaces to talk to experts about gender dysphoria and get specialist support, including organisations like Mermaids and Gendered Intelligence.
Explore your identity
With the support of a trusted adult, young people who experience gender dysphoria might want to explore things like trying out a new name or nickname, or asking people to use different pronouns, as well as experimenting with things like clothes, hair, and makeup. Sometimes people call this ‘social transitioning’.
These things do not have to be permanent decisions – young people often try a few different nicknames and haircuts to find what feels right for them, for example, regardless of whether they are trans (and/or non-binary) or cisgender.
Gender identity and sexuality are often fluid – someone might use different labels to talk about their sexuality or gender identity at different points in their lives, and this is normal.
Find healthy ways to express your feelings
Gender dysphoria can bring up lots of different emotions, including sadness, disappointment, anger, and frustration. It’s important that everyone has healthy ways to cope with their emotions – you can find ideas in the understanding your feelings section of the website.
Focus on basic self-care
It can be really difficult to take care of your body if you’re experiencing gender dysphoria, but things like eating enough, moving your body, and personal hygiene can be really helpful for your mood and overall wellbeing.
The Best For You website has tips for if you’re struggling for self-care, but you might make other adaptations if gender dysphoria is making things difficult.
You could also try to focus on the positive sensory aspects of self-care (like using products you like the smell of, wearing comfortable fabrics, or listening to your favourite music) to help you cope.
Use helpful statements or affirmations
Some people prepare some ‘helpful statements’ they can look at if things feel difficult.
If you find this useful, you could include things like ‘I am strong and I can get through this’, ‘my gender isn’t defined by anyone else’, or ‘I don’t have to love every part of my body to treat myself with kindness’.
Other people write down song lyrics or quotes that they find encouraging.
Make the most of distractions
Sometimes it can feel like gender dysphoria is all that you can think about. Some people find it helpful to try to distract their brain by focusing on something else they care about and enjoy. If you’re not sure where to start, you could try an activity linked to the five ways to wellbeing.
Find support
Find trusted services that can support you when things feel overwhelming.
How do trans and non-binary people get support from gender services?
Gender services exist to support trans and non-binary people who experience gender dysphoria.
The way you access gender services, and the support they offer, depends on how old you are.
If you’re aged under 18
Getting referred to a gender service if you’re under 18
There is a National CYP Gender Referral Support Service for young people in England aged under 18. Only NHS mental health services (like CAMHS) or NHS paediatric services can refer young people. This means you cannot be referred to gender services by your GP, a parent or carer, or teacher, although they might be able to refer you to CAMHS (so that CAMHS can then refer you to a gender service).
The waiting lists for gender services are long. While you’re waiting, you should be able to access mental health and wellbeing support like everyone else your age.
Coping with waiting
While the situation isn’t the same, you might find it helpful to look at our information about coping with being on the CAMHS waiting list.
The support offered by gender services for young people
Gender services usually see young people three to six times across several months, so they can get to know you and understand what things are like for you. You’ll probably be offered psychological support, like talking therapies or counselling.
In England, puberty blockers are not available to children and young people who want to use them because of gender dysphoria – you cannot get them on the NHS and you cannot get them privately. Some young people might have been prescribed these medications before the guidelines changed in 2024 – these young people can continue to take these medications.
Trying to buy medication from an unregistered website could be illegal or dangerous to your health. The substance they’re selling as medication might be out of date, diluted, fake, or unsuitable for you.
Young people who are aged 16 or above (and who meet certain clinical criteria) may be offered gender-affirming hormones alongside talking therapies and counselling.
NHS – gender dysphoria
If you’re 18 or over
Getting support from gender services as an adult
Adults can be referred to a gender service by their GP.
The waiting lists for gender services are likely to be long. While you’re waiting, you should be able to access mental health and wellbeing support like everyone else.
Coping with waiting
While the situation isn’t the same, you might find it helpful to look at our information about coping with being on the CAMHS waiting list.
The people who work in adult gender services can offer treatments including counselling and talking therapies, hormones, and speech and language therapy (voice therapy).
Some adults decide to have gender-affirming surgery to change their bodies so they align with their gender identity. Gender clinics can refer people to expert surgeons for this surgery.
NHS – gender dysphoria
Where can LGBTQ+ people get mental health support?
Sometimes, LGBTQ+ people might want to get wellbeing support from an organisation that specialises in supporting LGBTQ+ people, for example, if they want to talk about their identity or something that’s happened to them because they are LGBTQ+.
Sometimes these services might say you need to get help from the NHS if you’re very unwell or really struggling and they’re not able to provide the mental health support you need.
If you’re LGBTQ+, it’s up to you where you seek mental health support. You might want to think about things like the type of support you think you’d find helpful, as well as what’s available in your local area and how long any waiting lists are.
Text NATTER for help
Anyone can text ‘NATTER’ to 85258 to seek
help, wherever they are in the UK. It’s a free, anonymous service and available 24/7.
More about NATTER
The Proud Trust
Supports LGBTQ+ young people with issues around identity, mental health, and wellbeing, offering safe spaces, information, and guidance to help them feel supported and understood.
Online counselling
Provided by Spectra
Up to 12 sessions of online counselling for LGBTQ+ young people. You can chat to your counsellor or explore though creative media like drama, poetry, and art-making. If you are under 16, you need a parent or carer’s consent to access this service.
Pyramid Youth Group (online)
Provided by Spectra
Online youth club sessions over Zoom for LGBTQI+ young people to socialise and find support.
How can you support your LGBTQ+ friends?
The word ‘ally’ is used to describe people who support LGBTQ+ people. You can be an ally if you’re not LGBTQ+, but LGBTQ+ people can be allies to people in their community with other identities. For example, a cisgender bi person might be a trans ally, or a straight trans person might be a bi ally.
Supporting your LGBTQ+ friends often looks like supporting any of your friends – it’s about spending time together, listening to them if they’re struggling, and supporting them to get more help if they need it. But there are a few things you might want to keep in mind as an LGBTQ+ ally:
Remember that people have different experiences of being LGBTQ+
The LGBTQ+ community is diverse, and people’s experiences of being LGBTQ+ are affected by other aspects of their identity, as well as things like where they live and whether they have supportive adults in their life.
Respect people’s names
Learning people’s names and pronouns is an easy way to show your support. If you feel comfortable, you could introduce yourself using your pronouns to normalise it or put them in your social media bio – this also means that trans and non-binary people don’t feel alone when they share their pronouns.
Accept who people are
Listen when people tell you about their identity, and accept what they say, regardless of whether it’s unexpected, you don’t think it ‘matches’ the clothes they wear, or if they’ve used different labels to describe themselves in the past.
If someone shares something about their identity with you, do not tell anyone else unless they tell you that it’s OK to do so (but remember it’s important to tell a trusted adult if you’re worried about someone’s wellbeing or safety).
Learn about being LGBTQ+
It’s OK if you need to spend some time learning about what it’s like to be LGBTQ+ (or about LGBTQ+ history). Trusted websites like Stonewall have lots of information about LGBTQ+ history, words, and facts and figures, or you can find some great LGBTQ+ books in your local library.
Avoid asking invasive questions
LGBTQ+ people often get asked inappropriate personal questions about things like their sexual experiences or their bodies. This isn’t fair and is one way that LGBTQ+ people are often treated differently. You don’t need to know this sort of personal information about someone to be their friend.
Stand up against hate
Being a good ally means not ignoring homophobia or transphobia. It might not always be appropriate or safe for you to get involved in a situation, but you can still let someone know it’s happening, for example, by telling a teacher or youth worker or reporting strangers’ comments on social media. If someone’s been treated badly, ask them if they’re OK.
Find more information about supporting others, including how to ask someone if they’re OK, how to listen, and understanding boundaries and responsibility.
There’s also support if you’re a young carer, and tips for looking after yourself while supporting someone else.
Find support
Find trusted services that can support you when things feel overwhelming.
